April (UN)DONE

#10 a month of unlearning

(Un)done is my monthly round-up. Sharing what I’ve been (un)learning, what’s captured my interest and how that’s shaping my focus for the coming month, with some prompts for you along the way¹. It’s free-to-read for all subscribers. 😊

Bonjour, comment ça va?

Ok, yep, I’ve been to Paris and it’s now my whole personality if you couldn’t tell. I think I’m gonna write a separate post about my trip because it was big for many reasons. But I’m mentioning it here as this month was the first in a long time that I took a proper break away from the business since I pivoted - and that’s given me a LOT to think about.

Anyhow, how’s your April been?

What I’ve been (un)learning this month

1. I don’t always need the shiny new thing (even if my brain tries really hard to tell me otherwise)

I’ve fallen hard on the FOMO train recently. There were at least three new offers launched by people I follow and admire and I’ve wanted to sign up to them all, even though I know deep down that 1:1 support is far better for me. I devoured all their sales copy. Nodding along yes that’s me, yes that’s the thing that’s going to change my work life.

The thing is, I didn’t have the money for any of them. And so instead of mindlessly signing up (like I would’ve done in the past) I had to pause. I tried to scheme my way into finding the money from somewhere. But overthinking the scheming gave way to really questioning what was going on for me. Why was I so desperate to take up these offers?

And I realised it was part FOMO - of course I want to hang with these brilliant people - but part of it was a way for me to kick my own action-taking into the long grass. I could hide behind “I need to finish this programme first” instead of just doing the stuff I need to do. Because I do know what I need to do. I’ve done variations of these programmes before. It’s not a lack of knowledge holding me back, it’s another invisible rule that someone else’s view of my business is more valid and important than my own. Ooof.

And the shiny new things? Now time (and their deadlines) has passed, I don’t feel the itch to do them. It was never about learning more.

💭 What shiny new thing is working too hard for your attention right now? What might it really be telling you?

2. Other people’s advice - but make it mine

Since I started unlearning my business last year, one of the biggest things I’ve been pushing back against is the constant noise that you need to niche, niche, niche.

I’d been worn-down in the ick-inducing world of cold outreach to ideal clients. I hated pigeonholing myself to a particular industry - especially when I’d inadvertently ended back in the one that made me quit corporate.

I’m all about the vibes now 😎.

However, as much as I love unlearning as a concept, I’ve had to accept over the last couple of months that it isn’t something people are naturally searching for. As I try to market my business, find new clients and build community with those who get the vibe, it’s been a struggle.

And I’ve sat with that. Feeling protective over what I’ve created and not wanting to give it up. I’ve taken the advice too literally. Dismissing it as another bit of BS.

But my views have shifted recently. Instead of saying I’m not doing that, I’ve asked how do I make it more me.

Amongst the thinking I’ve finally understood that unlearning is my method, the USP that makes people want to work with me. But if I don’t talk about the specific things people want - and the things they’re looking outwards to solve - then they’re going to struggle to find me.

Basically we’re both scrambling around in the dark and I need to be shining my beacon a little more obviously. And that’s what a niche really is when you boil it down. A way for people to find you.

💭 What piece of advice are you ignoring or avoiding making your own?

3. Boundaries - but make it sustainable

My experiment this month in The (Un)learning Lab has focussed on being more boundaried with my working schedule. I had planned to work as if my client hours were full to see what my real ‘working on the business’ priorities were. I came up with a plan and a structure for my week and I feel pretty good about that.

Then I took a break - well, two actually - and all that planning went to shit. Because I hadn’t factored in taking time off and the backlog of stuff that would create. I’ve also ended up ghosting myself on the socials and substack because I didn’t want to work all the hours ‘catching up’ and the longer I was off the harder it’s felt getting visible again.

The inner chatter has definitely been saying I’m a ‘bad’ business owner.

The great thing though about experimenting is that we don’t put any value on a particular outcome. And so my experiments this month have given me two things: a working structure I can try out and tweak with this new insight, and the awareness that I need to look more closely at the sustainability of how I work so it’s not reliant on me being present and visible all the time.

💭 To what extent are you feeling ‘on’ all the time?

And keeping me occupied…

The trip to Paris involved visiting an exhibition celebrating 100 years of Art Deco. It was très magnifique. I enjoy visiting exhibitions in other countries because you see it through the eyes of another place, another culture - what they see as significant, the story they choose to tell.

I attended a walk, talk and draw class at a local arts space. This was scary for me as someone who doesn’t think they can draw (but is realising art really is subjective) and doesn’t really like new groups. But I’m so glad I went. I got to explore a space I hadn’t really seen before, and in looking with an eye for capturing a photo you then want to draw, it does make you see things differently. I also had my first play with charcoal and I’m pretty pleased with what I did. I’ve now become that person who takes photos everywhere with the aim to draw later (but in reality never does!).

The inspo and my drawings

I binged series one of Paradise and finally watched the new Agatha Christie on Netflix. Plus I indulged in my version of trash reality TV - french brothers showing people around million pound properties.

This was April’s bookstack: American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins, Wide Sargasso Sea by Jean Rhys, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest by Ken Kesey and Burn After Reading by Catherine Ryan Howard.

In case you missed it, here’s what else I’ve been talking about:

The grief nobody warns you about when you leave.

One thought I’m taking into next month…

What am I trying to do?

During my time off I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Why I write on substack. What I want from my business. How work fits with the life I’m creating. Where is my creativity being fed.

It’s a big question, with a lot of unlearning no doubt.

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Thanks for being here 💕 Let me know how your month has been and what final thoughts you’re taking with you. If you’re reading this in your emails then click the link below to share your comments.

All the best … Lee x

PS. If you like the sound of small experiments to test the invisible rules that are holding you back in work or life then The (Un)learning Lab is a great way to start. I’m opening for sign-ups for round 2 next week - we get started mid-may. I purposely keep the community small, so if you want to be first in the queue find out more and join the waitlist.

1. If what I write resonates, this symbol 💭 offers moments for you to sit with the exploration.