Hit and hope
I've got a new hobby š¾
Hi, I'm Lee. šš¼ Unlearning coach, book lover, die-hard Murder, She Wrote fan, dog mum - and someone who questions everything, usually out loud. This is where I write - about the rules we never chose, the work of questioning them, and whatever else I'm reading, watching or sitting with. No newsletter energy. Iām glad you found your way here. š
Two emails in one week, donāt worry this isnāt a habit I intend to keep upā¦
Iām writing this as Wimbledon plays in the background. Itās been my near constant companion over the past two weeks (apart from when I was in a field at the weekend). Before that I was watching Halle, Stuttgart, Eastbourne, Queens, Roland Garros, Hamburg, Rome, Madrid, Munich, Monte-Carloā¦ you get the picture.
I have become somewhat of a tennis obsessive, much to Dās annoyance - although Iām calling it payback for YEARS of cricket, football, NFL, grand prix (you name it, he watches it).
Itās not always been this way though. Sure, there were those years when I was a kid and my mum was in love with Andre Agassi so heād be on the tele a lot. But thatās where tennis stayed. On the tele. Itās certainly not something my school ever entertained teaching us in PE, although I was once brandished a badminton racket and told to hit things.
Yet, by osmosis of Agassiās dress sense or flowing locks, I harboured a secret desire to play.
When we moved out of London over a decade ago, we brought some tennis rackets from a closing down sale, which promptly got put in the attic never to be used.
The health club we joined had tennis courts, but gave off a middle-class clique vibeā¦ I could feel the judgement - perceived or otherwise - just walking past the courts to get to yoga (I didnāt say I shunned all middle-class cliques back then).
You see it was a good idea, but I was too scared to do anything about it.
Then, last year, a local tennis school ran a special offer for a block of lessons at less than half price. I decided it was a sign and joined before I could talk myself out of it again.
The class was held at my local recreation ground - not some fancy gym - and the group was a hotch-potch of people all in the ābeginnersā category.
Within minutes I was disabused of the notion that I was any good. I very much fell into the hit and hope categoryā¦ a bit like my Pool playing at uni! But Iād never had so much fun in a group sport setting.
The biggest surprise is that being a beginner means thereās absolutely no pressure. I donāt need to perform being good at something. And with that acceptance is a freedom I havenāt felt in a long time - other than perhaps when Iāve tried sketching. I love being a beginner. I can ask the coach all the questions, which in other settings I might think are basic or stupid and therefore stay silent. Thereās no judgement from him, the group or myself.
Learning something new, especially as an adult, has also meant Iām paying more attention to what Iām being taught and I can see that translated into my viewing experience. Hence why I can now watch hours of tennis on the tele without getting bored. The little skills we go through in class each week I can see being used (with much more effect) by the professionals. I understand why they might be doing certain things, I get the strategy and the tactics in a much deeper way than two (or four) people hitting the ball over a net to each other.
One thing that hasnāt quite translated for me from the TV to the court is the notion of tennis being competitive. I still catch myself apologising when my opponent isnāt able to return the ball - as if that isnāt the whole point of the game! I feel bad if I canāt keep up long rallies, worrying that Iām cheating them out of their gameplay experience. I have to keep reminding myself that Iām not playing badly if I donāt send the ball back to them (unless of course I lose the point through an unforced error).
Yet, a lot of the other mindset stuff is resonating.
This week, thereās been a lot of talk about the inner work Marta Kostyuk has done to separate her inner worth from her tennis scores. It feels strangely familiar to my own shifts Iāve made in unlearning my business and understanding the results arenāt a reflection on who I am.
Thereās also the habits and practices. The consistent actions you need to take to see results (yep, my mentor says this a lot to me). How training is more than just playing, but all the other conditions you put in place (eating, sleep, rest, recovery). Even the concept of changing rackets when new balls are in play - what a great analogy for adapting your tools to the environment around you.
Itās been just over a year since I started playing. Others tell me that my game has slightly improved; Iām not striving for excellence, so Iām happy with where I am - to keep going while Iām having fun and enjoy being a beginner. Anything else is a bonus.
Oh, and the rackets in the attic? Theyāve made it downstairs but unfortunately werenāt in good enough condition to play with, so, for now, Iām sticking with the one my coach lends me each week. Thereās probably a lesson in there about using the things instead of saving them.
Anyway, this match is getting interesting so Iām gonna finish this here and get it scheduled. Let me know if youāve been watching. And also, Iām interested, have you become a beginner in anything recently; if so, how have you found it?
Lee x
Honestly I was so bad at tennis at school! Definitely in the hit and hope category. Athletics was more my thing. My mum got my a book on how to draw flowers for Christmas and I still havenāt given it a go. Might sit in the garden and do it this afternoon!