Overthinking it

Just putting it out there before I overwhelm myself again...

Every week for the past two-plus months I’ve put ‘draft substack’ on my to-do list and every week it’s been left unticked.

I need to catch up with my reading on the app first.

I have to do some research.

I must find the right topic to write about.

Once I think I have a topic I end up talking myself out of writing it.

It’s no wonder nothing gets done - it’s exhausting.

I know I’m overthinking it. I don’t need to write a masterpiece. I don’t even need to write anything particularly coherent. I just need to write.

A train with a view … well not my actual seatside view, as I don’t have a window! But on a leg stretch to the nearest window this is what I could see. I feel my shoulders dropping already with the promise of fresh sea air.

I’m currently on the train to Cornwall and decided no more. Just get something down and publish to break this stalemate (a bit like going for a wee on a night out, I’m hoping once I start I won’t stop needing to write!). Embrace the messy and imperfect. The point of starting this substack was to find my voice and so maybe trying different ways and formats might be a good thing.

And that’s the thing with overthinking - something I’m expert in - we get caught in a spiral of ALL the things, to the point of overwhelming ourselves into inaction. (Ahem, I think I’ve said this before somewhere!)

I find lists helpful when this happens; not a never-ending list that adds to the overwhelm, but one that dissects the things and puts them in their place, helping to create priorities and focus. Normally, once broken down, there are only one or two things that ABSOLUTELY have to be tackled in that moment.

So, this post is going to be a list … what’s on my mind, what I’ve been (un)learning, what’s been taking up my energy…

1. If a contractor says a renovation will take six months, don’t believe them. We’re still living in (albeit less of) a building site and the dust is still very much present. Don’t get me started on not being able to find anything … in fact for the past month I’ve been looking to buy a very specific type of ceramic dish for our downstairs loo, the same type of dish that I came across wrapped up in the bottom of my bedside drawer yesterday having completely forgotten I’d already bought it.

2. It’s fun being a beginner again. I’ve started tennis lessons (I’m terrible and feel sorry for anyone paired up with me). I went to an art class (only slightly less terrible, but no team work required). I began learning chess on Duolingo (not sure you ever really learn on Duolingo, does anyone have evidence it works?!). I’ve enjoyed embracing my inner child and accepting that I haven’t a clue what’s going on.

3. Strength training works.

4. Listening to a full album straight through is a vibe. I’ve gone off listening to podcasts (apart from The Archers omnibus, which isn’t actually a podcast) and have fell back in love with actual music. I’ve always had 6 Music as my constant backdrop at home when I’m working, but I had got into a habit of stacking podcasts to listen to when getting ready, cleaning the house, going for a walk, to the extent that I think I ODd and it makes me slightly nauseous to play them now. Instead, I’ve gone back to listen to albums, all the way through, no skipping (today’s listen is Stereolab’s latest; I love it and I’m now making my way through the back catalogue!). I’m looking forward to, at some point, unpacking all our CDs and vinyl records as nothing beats that listening experience imho.

5. Cliched, but if you keep doing the same thing don’t be surprised to keep getting the same result. I’ve talked before about ripping things up (work-wise) and starting again. I thought one thing (leadership) was the problem. But now I’ve realised it’s a lot bigger than that and the reason I’m frustrated / not excited by my business at the moment is because I’m going round in circles and not tackling the real issues. I got that clarity in a coach supervision session and I’ve since taken steps to get external support to help me think differently. It’s leading to an evolution and I’m feeling the stirrings of excitement, so I’m taking that as a sign I’m on the right track.

Ok, that’s enough for the list. I can see the train trolley coming down the aisle and it has a cuppa and an overpriced brownie with my name on it.

I’ve done the thing. Broken the seal. Got words on a page. Now to press post before I talk myself out of it!

What are you overthinking at the moment? Where would being a beginner help you? And most importantly, what album should I listen to next??

Lee x

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