December (UN)DONE
#6 a month of (un)learning
(Un)done is my monthly round-up. Sharing what I’ve been (un)learning, what’s captured my interest and how that’s shaping my focus for the coming month, with some prompts for you along the way. It’s free-to-read for all subscribers. 😊
Who am I? Where am I? What day is it?!
I’m sat at my dining table, currently resembling the love-child of a chocolate log and roast potato having had a full Christmas dinner with trimmings and pudding for four days on the trot. I’m stuffed, yet still can’t resist the open tub of quality street that’s found its way next to me!
Sound familiar?
I’m really enjoying twixmas though. I’ve taken a proper break and hadn’t realised how much I needed it. Next year I need to rethink how I take time off, even if my inner chatter tells me that I’m on a roll and I have to keep going.
Anyhow, how’s your December been?
What I’ve been (un)learning this month
Focussing on the moments
I shared how I was feeling about the festive period a couple of weeks ago. I think the process of figuring it out released an invisible weight I’d been carrying. I haven’t nailed any new traditions, and I didn’t expect to, but the pressure to perform wasn’t there in a way I’d felt previously. Instead, I focussed on the moments and let everything else pass.
For example, I could’ve got annoyed when D delayed us getting to my sister’s for over an hour - perfect past me would have! - but I reminded myself this time that getting annoyed a) won’t get us there any faster, b) would’ve led to an argument and impacted my mood for the rest of the day. Accepting it was what it was meant I got extra time cuddling with the dog and reading my book, D and I didn’t argue, and (importantly) I was far more chilled when I got to my sister.
It’s showed me how often I react out of habit, not choice! Something to take with me in 2026 I think.
💭 Where are you still trying to recreate a version of something that belonged to a different season of your life?
Getting out of my own way
You might’ve heard me mention The (Un)learning Lab over the past few weeks - I can’t tell you how many times I’ve nearly talked myself out of launching it.
Not because it’s a bad idea, but because I started comparing - with other launches, other coaches, other offers.
Underneath all of that was the rule I know really well: I have to know it’s going to work before I’m allowed to make it public.
It sounds sensible. It keeps you safe, but not fulfilled. And it’s exactly the rule that stops you doing the work that actually matters.
The lab is all about experimenting - not waiting for certainty. So my stalling for perfection would’ve completely missed the point.
I soft-launched it anyway, without every detail nailed down. Testing the language, the format, the energy in real time. And the more I talked about it, the clearer I got.
💭 What’s one thing you’ve been waiting to feel ‘certain’ about before allowing yourself to move?
Curating my feeds
Aside from the pre-Christmas hustle and bustle, I’ve had a low-lying feeling of overwhelm.
So many voices competing from my attention on the socials and here on substack. Stoking my comparison. Distracting me from hobbies I enjoy. Confusing me with what I should be doing right now (read this, watch that, do this, take that etc etc).
Some people delete the apps over the holidays. But that wouldn’t have solved the issue for me. The noise would’ve still been there when I returned. If anything it would’ve added to the overwhelm as I consider how many unread articles I’d return to.
It’s easy to get into this state. You follow people because you want to show support. You’re in groups and communities together. Perhaps you want to be ‘seen’ to be following certain names. Maybe you stay around for loyalty.
But then your feed doesn’t reflect YOU at all. It becomes a chore not a joy. You feel judged instead of stimulated.
That’s why I decided I had to stop being the ‘nice’ follower and instead bring more intention into who I chose to engage with.
My mammoth unfollowing spree is a work in progress (I was following thousands of accounts on insta) but I’m starting to see old friends re-emerge from the algorithm, and I’m finding fun and interest in my feed again.
I’m hoping in 2026 I won’t need to add ‘catch up on socials/substacks’ to my to-do list.
💭 Who or what would you really miss if you stopped consuming out of habit?
On writing this, I’ve noticed that my three-things this month have all come down to the same point of (un)learning: choosing intention over inherited pressure!
And keeping me occupied…
Managed to fit in a couple of exhibitions before London got too busy! Cecil Beaton at the National Portrait Gallery and Gilbert & George at Hayward Gallery (both still showing until early Jan).
D and I also went to see Jamiroquai at the 02, so they’ve been my soundtrack for another month!
Reading wise I finished: Butter by Asako Yuzuki (sorry, I don’t get the hype with this one!), Elizabeth Finch by Julian Barnes, Death on Board by Anita Davison (a cosy crime palette cleanser!) and The Pachinko Parlour by Elisa Shua Dusapin.
I’ve watched a lot of TV - all three seasons of The Diplomat and we’re completely up-to-date, ready for the finale on Thursday, of Stranger Things. Plus I’ve been loving the Festive special editions of Only Connect and University Challenge (does anyone else feel proper smart when they get a question right?).
One thought I’m taking into next month…
What’s the rhythm I want?
I want to experiment more with how I use my time and bringing awareness to when and how I work and write best. I’ve liked the fluidity I’ve nurtured this year but I’m aware that I’m still conditioned and constricted in certain ways and so I want to play with that and see what’s true or not.
💭 What rhythm do you want to live and work by in January?
I’ve decided that I’m not going to do a specific 2025 round-up email, because tbh I feel like I’ve seen so many of them already that I’m bored 😑. Also, I’m going to write separately about my experiment this year to not fall for the new year resolution BS and what that means for my 2026 plans. But I did want to share a few of my favourite articles from this year in case you missed them (but with no pressure that you ‘need to catch up!).
Thanks for being here 💕 Let me know how your month has been and what final thoughts you’re taking with you. If you’re reading this in your emails then click the link below to share your comments.
Wishing you a Happy New Year whatever you’ve got planned … me? I’ll probably be asleep on the sofa, bookended by D and the dog, by about 10pm, so don’t text and wake me up 😂
Lee x
🌟 PS. I’ll be writing to you early next week with more info on The (Un)learning Lab - a space I’ve created for people who want to experiment with doing things differently, without waiting for certainty. We’re going to get started on 15 January. Places will be capped and the first five people to book will get a free bonus 1:1 with me.🌟
Love the great unfollow! I need to do the same! Happy 2026 Lee- I feel like you’re ready for it?!😘