I’ve been streaking!
The struggle to stay motivated
Hi, I’m Lee and I’m (un)learning in public. I talk about life and business, the BS that holds us back and the things that build us up again (in my case books, creative explorations and a dash of Murder, She Wrote). It’s lovely to have you here 😊
“You can do anything you put your mind to”.
D says this to me all the time and I used to believe the hype.
Like when I was 24, in Nice, staring enviously at people in the sea and deciding that I wanted to learn to swim properly.
Or when I made it my mission to become a director before I was 30. Or quit my career before I was 40 (although that was a little less thought out).
I believed that all it required was the right amount of motivation to keep me focussed.
During the last year, when I fell out of love with my business, I often questioned why I wasn’t motivated to show up. I explained it away as part of the ick I was feeling with leadership.
If I just land on the niche that lights me up I’ll be all over it again.
Except I haven’t been.
Well, that’s a lie. I’ve been far more motivated and energised than I have in ages. I’ve increased my visibility. I’ve been thinking about work outside of my working days (not healthy in the long-term but I’m allowing it for now as I focus on the rebuild). I’ve even changed up plans for my summer sabbatical so I don’t lose momentum.
But, my romantic vision of getting up early, working productively through all the things I want to do… fingers flying over the keyboard as I write endlessly, having engaging conversations with people in my networks, a reliable drip-feed of potential and actual clients… hasn’t emerged.
I can do the getting up early - it’s hard to avoid this one as I have a labrador who is very particular about his feeding schedule and will be reminding you for at least an hour before breakfast, lest you forget!
However, I become queen procrastinator as soon as I sit at my laptop. Catch up on emails. Catch up on other substacks. Check the socials. Make a cup of tea. Play a few games of colour block jam on my phone. See what D and the dog are doing. Make another cuppa. Do that on a loop two or three times.
It can be 10.30-11 before I get going and then soon enough it’s time for dinner. A new cycle ensues. And then about 3pm hits and I get a wind of energy and suddenly have 101 thoughts, which I know I can’t action now - at best I’ll have just over an hour - as D will be finishing up work, the dog starts persuading me it’s his dinner time way before it actually is, and the evening rituals begin.
I’ll often sit on the sofa in the evening brimming with ideas and itching to work, but telling myself I’ll do it tomorrow. Only for the next morning to arrive and I’ll be like Drew Barrymore in 50 first dates.
I berate myself.
Maybe I’m not really a morning person and I should accept that and change up my working hours.
Then the voice questions… if I do that, am I playing into or fighting against my corporate conditioning? 7 - 7, 8, 9pm would happen quite regularly. I’d swore I wouldn’t work late nights again running my own business. I realise I’ve fallen into a 9-5 trap anyway because that’s generally the hours D keeps. Finishing when he does fixes me on that corporate clock still.
I’m resentful.
Of course, I’m overthinking it. Because if I focus on the hours I work, I won’t be examining the other possible reasons I’m not being as productive as I would like to be.
Motivation is a myth apparently
More people have been saying that motivation isn’t what gets you results. It’s consistently taking the action.
Now consistency IS something I can do.
Even when I was feeling the worst about my business, I would show up four days a week and do the cold outreach to corporates that I’d been told would move the dial. Hundreds of emails sent. Not a single reply. And still I persisted. Because I was told it was all about volume.
I’ve recently hit 925 days on Duolingo. I can’t say my French has improved that much, although I did understand something Lucy Werner posted on instagram the other day, so that’s progress!
And my Peloton app is telling me that I’ve been working out consistently for over 125 weeks and I’ve just passed a 250 day streak.
Yet, I’ve been trying to build a daily meditation habit and failed. I keep saying that I’ll meet a certain step goal, but don’t. And in trying to work out what an ‘ideal’ day could be, I generally fall at the first hurdle.
I’ve read the books about productivity hacks; how to build and keep new habits. I know to set smaller goals. To habit stack. To make it obvious, attractive, easy and satisfying (à la James Clear).
This works for me for certain habits. But with others it makes no difference.
Maybe motivation isn’t a complete myth for me - I certainly need some to start the engine.
I’m keeping my streaks up because there’s an amount of gamification and public accountability. I get badges when I reach certain milestones. Friends or fellow community members high-five and cheer you on when you do well. I can bask in the smugness of an ever-growing number.
I mentioned in July’s (un)done that I had watched the documentary about Serena Williams. She talked about how hard it can be to stay motivated. The monotony of the tour, the repetitiveness of playing tennis. The same routine every day for years and years. She’s won 24 grand slams and still needs something else to push her.
Serena’s drive was that she wanted to be great at tennis. And so to tackle the monotony in a way that allowed her to step up a gear, to get better, to get more out of herself, she said something had to change.
For her, that was changing up the team she had, breaking away from the family dynamic that had got her so far.
What do I need to change up?
Well, I think divorce is out of the cards at the moment.
I was once in a mastermind where every quarter we’d set our goals and have to say what we would reward ourselves with if we succeeded. The converse being if we didn’t meet that target then we’d be denying ourselves something we wanted. This never did it for me. It felt artificial - I wasn’t really going to forgo that massage.
A friend once mentioned that she handed over a (sizeable) lump sum of money to someone on the command that she’d only get it back once she’d met her fitness goal. It worked for her!
I’m not sure the same would work for me; making my business a success would be its own financial reward and meet my broader purpose, yet I don’t go 100% and take all the actions I could. Setting financial targets feels like playing monopoly. I think I need something a bit more immediate to keep momentum and pressure on.
Apparently creatives can be over ambitious with their time. I think I fall into this category as I’m known for trying to fit too much in and then either feel overwhelmed or disappointed in myself when I can’t do it all.
That means I can’t try to bring in too many changes at once. I need to focus on one area, even if that has a number of micro changes related to it (otherwise I get bored), and build momentum there before trying to introduce anything else.
I think writing has been the thing I feel most motivated by and I can see benefits for me personally and professionally. Taking Serena’s approach, it’s also the area I want to get more out of myself.
Accountability works for me, as does some type of gamification. What could that look like for creating momentum and consistency with my writing?
daily target to meet? Probably time, rather than word count, works. I’ll aim for 45 mins each day.
visibility around progress? Showing up on notes and insta stories to share when I’ve finished each day.
fun way to track? Looking at an app or similar to visually capture my progress - let me know if you have any suggestions? And I’m going to create a pretty little badge because I’m obviously fickle like that…
Who’s in with creating a new consistent practice this summer? Comment below what you want to achieve, and you can also post on substack, tagging me in, as you tick it off. I might even share my badge with you.
Lee x
PS. don’t forget you have until the end of this month to make the most out of my launch offer for paid subscribers. For £40/year (forever price for as long as you’re a subscriber) you’ll get subscriber-only posts, coaching and NLP prompts to help you with your own (un)learning), access to a community of likeminded unlearners, and first dibs on my new services and offers.
🌟 If you’re feeling stuck and reading this, nodding your head in agreement - ‘same’ - then let’s have a chat about how we can work together to help you get out of your own way and build a life and business you want to show up for. If you’re interested in finding out more read this or drop me an email or DM 🌟
At the moment I am turning up to writing hours consistently and getting some stuff done. But outside of that not a lot is happening. I have started trying sitting at the desk in the office rather than the kitchen table, but it isn't consistent enough. I am feeling frustrated because I have started and and persisting but not moving on, if that makes sense? I don't think it is motivation that is the problem for me, it is prioritisation above all the other calls on my time.