May (UN)DONE

#11 a month of unlearning

(Un)done is my monthly round-up. Sharing what I’ve been (un)learning, what’s captured my interest and how that’s shaping my focus for the coming month, with some prompts for you along the way¹. It’s free-to-read for all subscribers. 😊

I’m writing this from a VERY wet Devon. The law of sod has well and truly kicked in, after a glorious couple of weeks, as soon as I take a break the sun deserts us.

May is my favourite month. I’m ever so slightly biased because it’s my birthday month, but I also think - especially when the sun breaks - that it’s the first whiff we get of summer. And I’m so ready for summer this year. Are you?

How was May for you?

What I’ve been (un)learning this month

1. Maybe I am a gardener…

If you watched my chat with Kendall Marie Platt 🌱 earlier this year, you’ll have heard me share just how bad I was at gardening. I identified as a plant murderer; everything I touched would perish. I’d wasted so much money in garden centres over the years that D and I had quietly agreed that I was on a ban, limiting my spend to the massive cakes in the cafe.

Last year, as we neared the end of our renovation, my attention turned to rescuing parts of our garden that had been trashed by the works. I knew that if left to me I’d buy beautiful but completely incompatible shrubs and flowers, so I enlisted the help of Kendall and she designed a space that would be impactful but low maintenance. Basically a Lee-proof garden.

I finally plucked up the courage earlier this year to start implementing the plan and ever since I’ve been slowly buying (as things come into season) and planting out as per Kendall’s instructions.

The whole process has changed how I view gardening - it’s shown me the importance of patience, of managing your expectations, of giving it space and time to grow.

And this month I’ve begun to see the results of my labours. The buds and blooms appearing. It’s exciting and I’m delighted they haven’t died - and I’ve not said ‘yet’ because I’m not really a plant murderer, I simply never asked for the right support before.

💭 What label has been stopping you from doing something you want?

2. I’ve broken the 9-5 rule

This month has been the first one where I’ve really not clock-watched when I work. After spending three months experimenting and realising that there were no expectations for me to work when D does, I still wondered whether I’d slip back into bad habits when I wasn’t actively focussing on it.

But I’m pleased to report that hasn’t been the case, I’ve worked more in line with my energy and focussed more on priority tasks rather than being seen to be busy all the time. Cue slower morning starts, leaving online meet-ups when I realise I’m performing attendance, and not forcing myself to write or show up when I’m not feeling it.

I’m still working on the sustainability bit - one of my key findings from the last round of The (Un)learning Lab - particularly around how I maintain visibility without feeling like I’m ‘on’ all the time. I’ve sat with this question and reflected that I feel stale if I pre-plan too much. There are too many abandoned content plans to show that this isn’t a format that fuels me creatively. So I need to consider what a good compromise might be.

💭 When did you last reflect on something you’d changed, and noticed how far you’d come? Take a few minutes now.

3. My value isn’t tied to my success

I didn’t sell my thing.

I’ve been focussed on filling round 2 of The (Un)learning Lab for the past couple of weeks. It was hard, harder than round 1. But unlike last time I didn’t have a last minute flurry of buyers. So I didn’t run it.

I could have over thought the reasons why it didn’t sell. I could have blamed myself for not doing enough, not working hard enough. And perhaps that is part of the problem - I could’ve been more visible, I could’ve done more - but there’s no guarantee that would’ve changed the outcome. This has been massive for me to accept.

A chat with my mentor, Lara, helped me to see that it isn’t that my offer was bad. There could be a hundred reasons why it didn’t convert this time. But there are opportunities to tweak. Variables I can change. And so I suppose when it comes down to it, selling is just another experiment. And I’m getting used to navigating those.

I know I need to think bigger picture. It’s been a year since I ripped up the business and started again. It’s been slow rebuilding, I’ve had to be patient. But it feels different this time, I don’t need to start again - I need to be more nimble and adapt for sure - this year has been about foundation-building, gaining clarity, testing my message. That also feels important to recognise.

So I’m spending the next month checking in on what’s next. Where do I need to tweak or adapt? What do I want to spend my time doing? Because I’ve also realised that cyclical launching isn’t really where my energy works best.

💭 Where do you need to give yourself a break and a bit of credit?

And keeping me occupied…

Can you guess who wore what?

This month’s exhibition was at the new V&A East in Stratford, The Music is Black was an exploration of music over the last decade. I highly recommend wearing the headphones as you go round, the music perfectly matched what you were looking at as you went - I practically danced around.

I’ve been on a movie marathon, with a couple of solo dates to see some international films. First up was The Stranger, based on The Outsider by Albert Camus - I immediately went home and read the book because the questions the film posed about life and expectations really struck me. On reading I noticed how well the film portrayed the book. Would highly recommend watching it.

The others I saw were a German film Miroirs No 3 and French film The Colours of Time. Both were interesting, though not ground-breaking. For me, it was about spending the time focussed on something completely.

On the telebox I enjoyed the Kylie documentary. Her first album was also mine, so I’ve always been a fan (I still have a Kylie and Jason jigsaw puzzle in my parent’s attic I think) and this was a nice reminder of my childhood. There were a few points where I questioned should there have been more probing, but then realised that’s my own voyeur asking when it’s not actually my business.

Book-wise I’ve been enjoying: One by One by Freida McFadden, The Sleepwalkers by Scarlett Thomas, The Man That Got Away by Lynne Truss, The Killer Question by Janice Hallett, The Outsider by Albert Camus, The Cracked Mirror by Chris Brookmyre, The Barbecue at No 9 by Jennie Godfrey and Murder by the Milk Bottle by Lynne Truss.

And to take my love of reading a step further, I’ve joined Georgina Dean’s Visual Chapter Club which is a book club like no other … think bring your own book and sketching. I’m looking forward to seeing how my reading and my questioning changes as I start to capture my thoughts visually.

In case you missed it…

What actually happens when you experiment with an invisible rule

Has anyone seen my personality?

The trip that nearly didn't happen (and why I'm glad it did)

Plus I joined Eva Lydon 🌿 live on her substack, talking all things unlearning. You can watch the full replay here 👇🏼

🎥 (Replay) Episode #8 Discussing UnLearing with Lee Griffith

One thought I’m taking into next month…

What do I need to prioritise over the coming month if I’m to truly switch off in this summer’s sabbatical?

Last year’s summer sabbatical didn’t really happen as I got swept up in the momentum of my rebuild. I want a break this summer. To be a local tourist again. Focus on my creativity. Have fun. And so I want to figure out how I do that while the business is still in it’s formative stage.

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Thanks for being here 💕 Let me know how your month has been and what final thoughts you’re taking with you. If you’re reading this in your emails then click the link below to share your comments.

All the best … Lee x

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🌟 Here’s how you can (un)learn with me this month…

If you want to untangle one rule → The (Un)learning Intervention

If you want a plan for the next 90 days and to know what you need to unlearn to achieve it → The (Un)learning Blueprint 🌟

If you want to shake things up, using nature as your guide to think differently → Walk and Talk sessions are back!!

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1. If what I write resonates, this symbol 💭 offers moments for you to sit with the exploration.